It’s no secret that America goes through a lot of food. We don’t just eat it. We throw a big chunk of it right in the garbage.

Of course, we can all do our part to reduce this painful truth to a sad fact of life. Here’s some things to watch out for when you’re scraping what’s left of your dinner into the trash.

1. You didn’t know that the cheese-in-a-can people don’t make toothpaste.

2. You shave with sour cream.

3. Instead of a pillow, you sleep on a turkey so you can eat breakfast while you get some shuteye.

4. You think your garbage can will eat you in your sleep if you don’t feed it during the day.

5. Your garbagemen stopped bringing lunch with them to work on the day they run your route.

6. Buzzards circle over you every time you bring your cans to the curb.

7. You had to go to the ER because you won a bet to see how many M&Ms you could fit up your nose.

8. You recycle your garbage at Denny’s.

9. You would buy more fried chicken if it just came with the skin.

10. You’re surprised to learn that the toy is the LEAST edible part of the Happy Meal.