Holy moly, *this* was an episode of 'Game of Thrones.' We actually, honestly said many expletives out loud watching it last night. When it was over we felt a little bit like somebody crashed a pair of cymbals right over our head. Now we are sad that we have to wait until next week to see more, so here are some glorious GIFs to help you relive the episode all week long. And remember, it's a HBO show filled with violence and nudity, so some of these GIFs are NSFW. Also, SPOILERS. Obvs.
You know what's worse than having your good hand chopped off? Having to wear it like the world's tackiest charm necklace. Jamie's having it rough.
Strike that. Drinking horse pee is actually worse.
Seriously, who fills a canteen with horse pee? These guys are clearly not nice (in case the whole rape-y, hand-choppy stuff didn't clue you in).
Once all that's out of the way, Brienne and Jaime have a heart-to-heart. We would argue that they have the most interesting relationship on the entire show. At least for right now.
After a meeting between Varys and Olenna, Margaery makes a move to get Sansa under her thumb. Of course, Sansa is so lonely and miserable, that she is pretty psyched about the whole thing.
Cersei makes a power play, but her dad shuts her down cold.
Margaery continues to play Joffrey, and it seems like it is actually working.
Theon came clean to his rescuer, but it was seriously not enough to make us like him.
Yeah, you did! Because that guy did NOT rescue you, buddy. And now you're back at Ye Olde Torture room.
Remember how Daenerys offered to trade one of her dragons for all those slave warriors? Yeah, that worked out just about how we expected it to. It was awesome.
Also in this episode, the Hound has been sentenced to trial by combat. Things got a little crazy north of the Wall, and now Lord Mormont is dead and Samwell is on the run with one of Caster's (who died of being stabbed in the face) daughters and her incest baby. Oh, and Varys has the sorcerer who lopped off his junk in a box in his room. Told you it was crazy. Come back next week for more!