Spaghetti Scissors Are Genius
Admit it, even as an adult, eating spaghetti is a challenge. Twirling more than you want onto a fork, then convincing yourself that you can fit it in your mouth is just an Italian delicacy. Of course, it still ends up in your beard, dripped on your shirt, and in the event you get nostalgic about what you're eating, I wouldn't be surprised if a little sauce ended up on your cheeks as you have that wholesome flashback to slurping noodles as a kid.
Solution: Spaghetti scissors.
Really, any scissors you deem clean enough to eat with in your particular home. Fork up some noodles, clear the dish, snip, enjoy. No more saucy beard. Of course, you're still left with a bunch of snipped off nood-lettes left on the plate, but that usually happens to me anyway as I will typically use my fork to cut little squares of saucy goodness. That's how Dad did it, that's how America does it, and it's worked out pretty good until now.