“That reply says nothing…what a waste of words.”

This feeble attempt at a clap-back came in the form of a response from someone complaining about me being a “fake friend.” Normally, I’d only orbited their environment in brief spurts…just enough for the atmosphere to be socially accommodating. But mostly, I ghosted. So-much-so that I earned the nickname Houdini. It was cool though, because trust, in certain circles… I wear that label like a badge of honor.

Don’t get me wrong, I truly valued the friendship. The comradery (on my part) was genuine. They were funny, they were interesting & a modicum of their recently acquired success was mildly inspiring. I was truly entertained when I hung out with them, but, & there’s always a ‘but,’ they were also incredibly toxic asf.

Wasting Words on People Who Really Deserve Your Silence

Now, I don’t know about you, but I. Don’t. Do.Toxicity. I got family members & longtime friends that I don’t even speak to, what’s one more toxic nonentity? I gotta say though, the mediocrity of the retort left me both amused & intrigued.

My initial reaction to the response was based on the fact that it really had me in my feelings. Like, wooow! I just took the time to explain my sincerest feelings to a person that I was completely content with just ghosting; & the best response they could muster up was to say “my words were a waste?” My wordsno meaning? Ha! They really must have pulled a muscle from the excessive amount of reaching they were doing with that statement! I literally busted out laughing at this pathetic attempt at a gaslight.

Then it got me to thinking…how many times do we relinquish power to intellectual inferiors, emotional abusers and various “randoms” in our lives whose opinions, in actuality, mean absolutely nothing? Why do we waste words on people that really deserve our silence?

The language of friendship is not words, but meanings – Henry David Thoreau

I think it’s fair to say that the path to a true friendship is always under construction. It takes a lot of hard work, dedication & commitment. But, what barometer does one actually use to define the meaning of a true friend?

Every day I see co-workers who have these amazingly close relationships; students who, by the end of the semester have become the best of friends & people with acquaintances that have leveled-up to friendship status. But, once that happens, what does one do to continue to make that friendship thrive? I may not know the answer to that question, but what I do know is that it does not involve manipulation & ultimatums.

So, if someone you know ever tells you “your words mean nothing,” remember to just laugh at the absurdity of it all. Let this be an editorial middle finger to the joke that is anyone irrational enough to think that they wield the power to determine the value of anything that you have to say. Love yourself, your mind & all that you have to offer, passionately & unapologetically. And always remember, your words have value. The only thing that “don’t mean anything” is their presence in your life.