What Should We Call Male Karens?
You know, since "Karen" entered the lexicon to describe what Wikipedia deems "a pejorative term for a woman seeming to be entitled or demanding beyond the scope of what is normal. The term also refers to memes depicting white women who use their privilege to demand their own way." For all intents and purposes, Karen's are the killers of fun. The 'Can I speak with your manager' type people... and anyone can be a Karen, but there's been a push to finally nail down a proper term to describe a male Karen, and as a country, we can't seem to agree on a single name. This is where we science the heck out of it.
I think I've either heard or said in conversation that a male Karen could be referred to as a Kyle, Chad, Ken, and even a random Carl or Steve, but these all seem to be namesakes for other aspects of American idolatry. For instance, Carl and Steve are automatically out because for a very, very long time, they've both been used to describe the same type of person. Obviously, Carl is the universally acceptable term for that one guy in the military platoon that always has to say something funny. The joker of the group. Steve is the bumbling one, at least that's what I've been told.
Both Kyle and Chad describe the same person too. Kyle is the type of guy to buy a real nice piece of American muscle and ruin the entire thing with stick-on chrome and undermount neon lights. Have you seen the red Challenger running around with the green lights underneath? Such muscle reduced to import status, a travesty indeed. Chad is the Mustang driver that is always on the gas pedal. Doesn't matter if he's traversing the parking lot, or doing what he considers "impressing" the other drivers around him by constantly hotdogging his loud pipes. That's just not a Karen.
Ken is the pretty boy type. The Abercrombie and Fitch type guy that spends more time on his hair than his Barbie girlfriend.
See what I mean by we need to declare a male Karen name once and for all? It's getting too complicated. What we really need is a generic name that's not yet associated with any personality type. Here's a wildcard, why don't we dub Jared to be the male Karen? I can't think of any one personality type that fits the name, so it's free and clear of all previous comprehensions, and it just feels good to say it. The way it rolls off your tongue. J & K are next to each other in the alphabet so it's almost as if it were meant to be.
Of course, I feel bad for the guys roaming the world already named Jared the same as I do those women named Karen... but just because you're named Karen or Jared, it doesn't mean you have to be one. I've thought it up one side and down the other and it just makes sense. Try not to be a Jared from here on out.
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